Before I begin, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Trevor G. Mason. I am a huge fan of the Mario Kart series ever since Super Mario Kart on the SNES. The best Mario Kart in my opinion is Mario Kart 64 on the Nintendo 64. Anyways, I was driving down to my local game store. It had both retro and modern games. I was planningt cleared their dead corpses were lying on the road. Tears started forming in my eyes. As I kept driving, the screen started getting darker and darker until there was just black. Then something horrifying appeared on my screen. A picture of Mario appeared like the ones you see on the Gameboy Camera. In fact, it had the same music. I shit my pants. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. When I came back to my Wii, Mario said, "Who are you running from?" I responded, "Nobody. I just need to clean the shit from my anus." This spooked the hell out of me and I went into a coma for 7 years.
I woke up from my coma and went back to my Wii, there were two options to choose. Those options were "Continue" and "Quit." So I chose quit because there was no freaking way I was going throught shit again. The screen went pitch black for about 15 seconds. A super scary Mario appeared accompanied by loud 8-bit scream for about 22 seconds. My Wii then broke and it cummed out red blood at my face. Out of nowhere, Mario came crashing through my window and said in my ear, "Its-a me motherfucker." He got out a sword from his back and shoved it up my ass. The sword went all the way up to my mouth. I died. Now you're probably wondering how I'm writing this even though I'm dead. Apparently, they have computers in heaven.